Winning together

It’s day four and I have NOT had a single cigarette!

I can’t believe it. I also can’t believe how bloody hard it is! So far my biggest struggle is when I have a coffee. All I want is ciggie and a cup of coffee. People have said to change my drink.

I’m sorry what??

I love a good cup of coffee. I tolerate an instant cup of coffee. Either way I will drink several a day. Change my drink. To What? A green tea?? Sorry, shall I now call my blog acupofgreenteawithkirsty? Not quite as catchy really is it! Also. It tastes like crap. So no . I won’t be changing my drink.

Here’s one I made earlier!

I will instead carry on trying to not think about smoking. So if everyone could hide any reference of smoking at all that would be great. Yes. Please do move the kiosk at the front of the supermarket, and yes all the lighters in the world. They can go. My neighbour who’s cigarette I can smell from in my bedroom with the window cracked open a tiny bit at night. If you could please smoke elsewhere. The adverts on TV advertising the whole Stoptober thing. STOP. Every time I see any of those things I would gladly trample over small children, my husband and a little old lady just for one puff.

Am I angry? I don’t think so. I don’t think I have lost my temper any more than I usually do. I hope not.

I’m going to do this for my hubby and my kids and myself. I’ll fight my battle with nicotine as hard as hubby fights his with cancer. Together we will be winners 🙂

The Good and The Bad

Clinic day today. It was good. Dinner in the slow cooker so no rushing around when we get home if we are delayed. No traffic jams to sit in..good music on the radio..an almost empty car park so found a space straight away. Perfect 🙂

We had the usual waiting around scenario in which we people watched ( note to husband ; sit somewhere where you can see properly next time so your neck isn’t on a constant pivot and you don’t give yourself whiplash ) and listened to other peoples conversations.

All hubbys SATs are spot on. Called into the consultants room to discuss..um..all the normal stuff. How are you feeling? Any rashes? Energy levels ok? How’s the GVHD?  Sent away with another prescription for more steroid mouthwash to keep said GVHD under control in the hope he can have another DLI soon to blast those remaining pesky cancer cells away. The best bit. BCR-ABL is still under control. Not dropping massively but not going up massively either . Perfect. Then to top it off…We don’t have to return until the end of October!

That’s almost a whole MONTH!!!

That man of mine is a superhero ❤

That was the good.

The bad?                           Me!

I started really well. No smoking. Im sort of hoping that most people will of got bored and stopped reading by now so I can hang my head in shame alone. I’d love to say it wasn’t my fault but lets be honest. I had a choice. Dammit!

We popped in to see a friend on the way home. He is giving up alcohol for October. https://www.gosober.org.uk/ We decided between us ( in the way that someone who doesn’t drink or smoke wouldn’t understand) that as he had some booze left and I had some tobacco left that what we should actually do is finish everything that we collectively have today and start afresh tomorrow. I , in my moment of wisdom decided that actually that would be fine because the tobacco cost me money and the booze cost him.. that’s a massive waste of money. Also Stoptober is a 28 day challenge.https://stoptober.smokefree.nhs.uk/

October has 31 days! Therefore if they really expected people to succeed immediately then they would of made it a 31 day challenge. ( logical to me )

So together we will start again tomorrow. Don’t judge me. I am at least trying. And if my superhero can achieve everything he has, this in comparison should be easy!!

I promise 🙂